Why men have extramarital affairs?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from old ages. Affairs can be loaded with evils, cause misery, and other troubles. Plus you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness matter, money, age difference, spiritual background, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, discteet married dating.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are men seeking affairs. I suppose typically though it is only the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Physically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a brief period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can switch the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos culture has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is very pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anybody else? You will need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest group, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your finances are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An affair occasionally solves the problem while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, usually the male is sexually neglecting his spouse for a multitude of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “milf wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is vanished, could be it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply grown separately, our ordinary concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.